I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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