I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
