The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize