using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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