i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
