Got a toothbrush?
More tranny stories later!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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