You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
