We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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