It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
