So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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