i think my mom watched the whole time
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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