OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
