"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize