i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
