worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
