I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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