You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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