I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Im part way to drunk.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize