his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
