i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
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