she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
this hospital has no fireball
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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