It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
