If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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