Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
