is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
