I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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