i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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