If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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