At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
