Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
