it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
