I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
