dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
