I wish I could punch you in the face.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wish I only lived at night.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
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