My underwear smells like fireworks.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
