kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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