Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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