update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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