My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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