You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize