I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
home. puking in laundry basket.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
