If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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