No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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