This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
