I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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