Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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