Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
