im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I can't put those talents on a resume
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
