Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
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She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
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I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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