I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
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No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize