hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
