she was so not down for the gang bang
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
