even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We named our party play list daddy issues
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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