I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
